What am I even doing?

Today on Facebook the memory above popped up from 3 years ago and I had to laugh to myself at how right Gary Keller is.

5 years ago I was BURNT OUT

Single Mom- check

Broke- check

Overworked- check

Underpaid- check

Awful credit- check

Directionless- check

Sad- check

I just wasn’t the person I could be. I hadn’t even tapped a smidge of my potential, and yet every day self-doubt lingers. I ask myself what am I even doing. I often linger with imposter syndrome-like thoughts that can be pretty harmful. I find leadership pretty dang lonely a majority of the time… and yet… I can’t imagine a better life. I don’t want to do anything else or be anywhere else than right here.

Here, with my family, amazing real estate team, my friends and so many partners I choose and who choose me in return.

I am my own walking conundrum of thinking I am pretty good at this stuff while also carrying some major self-doubt. I often wonder if that’s what helps me try to keep it real. I am after all just me and I am kind of bumbling along in this Team Leader role… failing forward as we often say… and it seems to be working out okay.

I listen to a lot of industry podcasts, read a lot of blogs, watch YouTube videos, and generally hear a lot of awesome folks share their thoughts on life in this industry but I don’t hear of people feeling vulnerable, or not sure what they are doing, or if they deserve where they are.

I want to be honest with anyone coming here because just in case you feel like me, just in case you are out there feeling these feelings of doing big things while simultaneously not being sure what in the hell you are doing… I don’t want you to feel alone. I have a feeling there are a few of us out there… I would love to hear from you.

These blogs should never be judged for their grammar or spelling excellence… who has time for perfection in an imperfect world?